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Funny Shit - jax-femmes
Rants from the every-day lesbian
Funny Shit

             1 0 Questions Most Commonly Asked of
     Lesbians and the Answers You`ll never Hear..

1. What exactly, do two women do together? (Usually asked by a   
A. It takes too long to explain. A lesbian quickie lasts hours. We
   lay there and discuss politics until we figure it out. But if you
   like I`ll show you. How about this evening at six?

2. Which one of you is the man? (Usually asked by a man)
A. We`re lesbian, not confused. Look it up!

3. What do your parents think about it?
A. They weren`t exactly tickled lavender

4. Do you face any discrimination because you`re -- "that way"?
A. None. The lesbian movement is a bodily function that involves
   the expulsion of our reproductive organs

5. Why are you a lesbian?
A. Let me show you a picture of my girlfriend

6. Did anything in your childhood affect your choice?
A. Definitely. There was a cute little redhead in my nursery school
   that I used to take naps with...

7. Why do you have to tell everyone?
A. I have a P.C. quota to meet

8. Is one of you "butch" and the other "femme"?
A. Yes, but we trade off every time we roll over

9. Do you plan to have children?
A. We`re trying! (Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, know what I mean, know  
   what I mean!)

10. But wouldn`t you want your children to be straight?
A. And miss the opportunity to be interrogated by the next
   generation of psych majors?

* Courtesy of Chris Lanter and the Gay & Lesbian Student`s Union

Joke For The Day

One day this hippie gets on a bus full of nuns. He sits down next to this one nun and hits on her. She slaps him and moves to the back of the bus. The hippie went and explained what happened to the bus driver.

Bus Driver: I happen to know that that certian nun gets off the bus every night at 7 o'clock at the cemetary.

Hippie: How is that going to help me get with her?

Bus Driver: Well, you could wait there for her disguised as God.When she gets off of the bus, command her to have sex with you.

Hippie: Good idea. So that night the hippie waited at the cemetary. At 7 o'clock the nun got off the bus.

Hippie: This is God. I command you to have sex with me.

Nun: Alright, but can you do me up the ass so I will still be a virgin? The hippie agreed and when he was finished he took off his disguise.

Hippie: Ha ha, I'm the hippie!

Nun: Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!

Current Mood: ditzy ditzy
Current Music: Bad 80's tunes

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